L’amour de ma vie

Author’s note: This is a poem I wrote in the midst of a tumultuous relationship. It’s not one of my favorite poems, but I like to keep those for myself.

You grasp me by my shoulders
the softest eyes masking the hardest words—
“I’m sorry.”
I writhe beneath your touch
but it sears all the way to my core
the torrential rain is here
and there is no refuge
do You think I could escape it?
do You think me so tall?
do You think me so strong?

the retreat
it unfolds as clear as post-storm sky
yet it is upon us, sly as nightfall
You want a piece of the wreckage
what for?
to hold as a keepsake, dear to your heart?
my tongue is not mine, the devil’s caught it
the distance between You and me
expands as if God spoke,
“Let there be land!”

it’s foggy like in a dream
an afterthought in the midst of lies
that I have no refuge
on this side of the divide
what of my warranty?
You said.
but love, the flood uproots
even the most faithful of vows
and I would,
I would be swept away in the current
along with everything mine and yours
but for the postscript of my farewell letter:
“I miss You.”
and like a stray stream of water
returns to her mother river
I inevitably find my way across the divide
and back to You
l’amour de ma vie


© Rebecca Cao. All rights reserved.


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