My Life is Over, Take Two

When will I ever have time for a Sunday brunch again?

When will I ever have time for a Sunday brunch again?

Last time I thought my life was over was the beginning of the Fall semester. Ha! Little did I know then. This morning, I woke up and I finally admitted something I’ve been denying for several weeks — I’m stressed out. Not just a little stressed out. No, like stressed out as hell.

There’s something that babies learn when they’re five months or so. It’s called object permanence and I have yet to master it. The idea of OP is understanding that just because things are out of your sight doesn’t mean they cease to exist. As for me, I am an expert at ignoring “inconvenient” emotions, such as stress. My theory is that as long as I don’t acknowledge that it’s there, I won’t have to deal with it. Of course, emotions don’t just evaporate. About a year ago from today, I was routinely suffering from panic attacks because of the feelings that were bottled inside me.

So voilàI’ve learned a little bit since then and now I’ve begrudgingly accepted that my life right now sucks. Last semester, I thought writing a novel would be the hardest thing of my life. Now, I’ve realized that publishing a novel is the hardest thing I’ve yet to attempt. Every second of every day, I’m left wondering if I’m a terrible writer. Add on the fact that I have absolutely no patience for things like this, and waiting for responses is torturous.

Here’s how my week tends to span out:

  • Monday. Class from 11:30 – 4:00 pm. Frantically finish Wednesday’s homework. Teach GRE from 6:30 – 9:30 pm.
  • Tuesday. Class from 8:30 – 11:30 am. Frantically finish Thursday’s homework. Volunteer at Freedom House in Detroit from 4:00 – 9:00 pm.
  • Wednesday. Class from 11:30 – 4:00 pm. Teach GRE from 6:30 – 9:30 pm.
  • Thursday. Class from 8:30 am – 5:00 pm. DONE WITH CLASSES FOR THE WEEK HALLELUJAH.
  • Friday. Do half of homework for Monday. Meet with French conversation partner.
  • Saturday. Tutor ACT from 10:00 am – 1:00 pm. Do half of homework for Monday.
  • Sunday. Do all of homework for Tuesday. Apply for scholarships, grants, internships.

And now I’m late for Catalan class so adéu folks. If I don’t blog for the next few weeks, assume I lost the Rebecca v. life battle.

À la prochaine,



10 thoughts on “My Life is Over, Take Two

  1. Hey Rebecca!

    Is there any way you could reduce the number of courses you’re taking, so you can be less stressed this semester?

    • Hey Maggie, I actually already reduced them. I was at 20 credits to begin with, and now I’m at 17. So no, can’t reduce any further. 😦 But school isn’t the main thing stressing me out (that would be my novel), so I’ll just have to tough it out. Thanks for your suggestion though! 🙂

  2. Hey Rebecca! Out of pure curiosity, which course did you end up dropping to get to 17 credits? Also, how is French 270 going? I’m sure that the combination of your courses, your job, your volunteer work, and trying to publish your novel keeps you extremely busy. I hope the publishing process goes well, and I look forward to reading your next blog post. 🙂

    • I dropped a linguistics course, as I was taking it for interest and it isn’t required for my majors. French is good! Did you end up dropping it? You’re so sweet! Thanks for reading and commenting. 😀

  3. Pingback: My Goals for the Summer | Rebecca Cao

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