Last time I thought my life was over was the beginning of the Fall semester. Ha! Little did I know then. This morning, I woke up and I finally admitted something I’ve been denying for several weeks — I’m stressed out. Not just a little stressed out. No, like stressed out as hell.
There’s something that babies learn when they’re five months or so. It’s called object permanence and I have yet to master it. The idea of OP is understanding that just because things are out of your sight doesn’t mean they cease to exist. As for me, I am an expert at ignoring “inconvenient” emotions, such as stress. My theory is that as long as I don’t acknowledge that it’s there, I won’t have to deal with it. Of course, emotions don’t just evaporate. About a year ago from today, I was routinely suffering from panic attacks because of the feelings that were bottled inside me.
So voilà, I’ve learned a little bit since then and now I’ve begrudgingly accepted that my life right now sucks. Last semester, I thought writing a novel would be the hardest thing of my life. Now, I’ve realized that publishing a novel is the hardest thing I’ve yet to attempt. Every second of every day, I’m left wondering if I’m a terrible writer. Add on the fact that I have absolutely no patience for things like this, and waiting for responses is torturous.
Here’s how my week tends to span out:
- Monday. Class from 11:30 – 4:00 pm. Frantically finish Wednesday’s homework. Teach GRE from 6:30 – 9:30 pm.
- Tuesday. Class from 8:30 – 11:30 am. Frantically finish Thursday’s homework. Volunteer at Freedom House in Detroit from 4:00 – 9:00 pm.
- Wednesday. Class from 11:30 – 4:00 pm. Teach GRE from 6:30 – 9:30 pm.
- Thursday. Class from 8:30 am – 5:00 pm. DONE WITH CLASSES FOR THE WEEK HALLELUJAH.
- Friday. Do half of homework for Monday. Meet with French conversation partner.
- Saturday. Tutor ACT from 10:00 am – 1:00 pm. Do half of homework for Monday.
- Sunday. Do all of homework for Tuesday. Apply for scholarships, grants, internships.
And now I’m late for Catalan class so adéu folks. If I don’t blog for the next few weeks, assume I lost the Rebecca v. life battle.
À la prochaine,