What I Think About Abortion

The debate on abortion is a convoluted web with no easy answers.

I usually prefer to avoid giving my opinion on issues like abortion, birth control, and premarital sex. This is because I find that when people discuss these particular topics, they debate everything except for the issue at stake. It suddenly becomes a battle of extremists arguing over religion, feminism, politics, and whether or not your unborn child has fingernails. Additionally, while I believe men should be able to give their input on female reproductive options, they absolutely have no right to tell a woman how she should or should not feel. Hello? You’re a man. You’ve never spent a day in a woman’s body, so how the hell do you know what it’s like?

Having prefaced my post with the above, let me just clarify again that this is neither pro-life nor pro-choice propaganda. Dear women of this world: can we please learn to share our opinions and experiences honestly, without promoting a certain agenda? Just because you self-label as “pro-life” doesn’t mean you can’t admit that perhaps abortion was a good idea for your friend. Just because you’re “pro-choice” doesn’t mean that you can’t admit to having feelings of loss or regret. In fact, this was the article that prompted me to write my own response. While I am in no way judging the author’s actions or thoughts, I find that she tries incredibly hard to come off as nonchalant. “Hey, guess what everyone? I had an abortion and it was no big deal. Suck it, pro-lifers!” (Note: this is my interpretation and not an actual quote)

As such, she never delves into the pros and cons of her decision. Of course, she might have elected not to share such intimate details on the Internet with complete strangers and I completely respect that. However, she herself states, “The harder it is to share, the more it ought to be done, otherwise we will eventually not have choices anymore.” If she is already sharing the process of her abortion down to the exact dialogue between herself and her husband, shouldn’t she also admit that not everything was so easy, breezy, and peachy? With sentences such as “The reality [of abortion] is so much different from the hype, it’s amazing”, she seems to be concealing certain aspects of abortion to promote a decidedly pro-choice agenda.

Ultimately, the part that bothered me the most about her view and many of the views expressed in the comments was how the pro-choice community treated abortion as a back-up contraception, a more expensive variation of Plan B (AKA the Morning After Pill). In my opinion, the difference is huge — Plan B prevents your pregnancy, while abortion ends it. Now, the debate on whether an embryo/fetus constitutes “life” is worth having. If a man strikes a pregnant woman and causes her to lose her unborn baby, does he owe her anything? The United States government says yes. My question is: why does the value of a child in utero differ so much depending on whether or not his particular mother wanted him? In order to have a perfectly unbiased, objective assessment on whether or not an embryo is a person, this conclusion should remain the same across the board.

The argument for the value of a baby in utero based on its size is, in my opinion, absurd and baseless. Essentially, proponents of this measure of “life” feel less guilty getting rid of something that looks less like a human. It is logical — after all, many of you would sooner kill an ant than a dog. But is that right? I’m not so sure. Many people also argue that when an unborn child becomes viable (around 24 weeks), that is when it constitutes “life” because it has the ability to be independent from its mother. This theory is also bull, in my opinion. If anything, a fetus of 24 weeks is more dependent on humans outside the womb than inside. Outside, it would need round-the-clock care whereas inside, it has everything it needs to thrive.

I realize that I’m beginning to sound really pro-life here. You know what? It’s because I am; I support life! You know what else? I’m also pro-choice; I support choice. I believe abortion should be legal and every woman should be able to have an abortion if she so desires. However, I also value life/the possibility of life and I think that abortion is not something to be taken lightly. Even if you think you’ll go absolutely nuts if you have one more kid or you are certain you’ll never be able to love that child, you could be wrong. Many parents have had unexpected children who turned out to be a great joy in their lives; it’s just so hard to predict the future.

Finally, I’ll address the religious fanatics/protesters who attempt to scare women into submission. Just. Shut. Up. Take your horrifyingly graphic photos of dead fetuses and hang them up in your own house if you’d like. Stop making an already difficult decision even more challenging for women in unfortunate situations. One day, if your 13-year-old daughter gets pregnant, or worse, is pregnant as a result of rape, or yet worse, you have to choose between her life and her baby’s life, and you still don’t believe in abortion, then perhaps I’ll value your opinion.

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10 thoughts on “What I Think About Abortion

  1. Oh, my goodness, I am so with you !

    More often than not, I tend to shy away from this issue. I feel like I’m going to be judged as a baby killer and I’m definitely not. I’ll never have an abortion, unless it’s going to be life or death for me. Not to ever deal with abortion is for me A CHOICE…. it’s my choice, but I’m not going to force any woman to have a child when it’s clearly she cannot have it. Hence, I am PRO-CHOICE.

    • Thanks for taking the time to read and comment! It’s good to know there are other moderates out there — sometimes I feel like extremists just make each other more and more extreme…

      Exactly! Pro-choice should mean letting everyone make their own choices without fear of judgment.

  2. Rebecca,
    I would suggest you read Melody Rose’s “Safe, Legal and Unavailable? Abortion politics in the US”. You’ll learn that the issue of a woman losing a fetus due to external force, by whatever means, being dubbed murder is not an accepted fact. It is, in fact, another incremental step towards making abortion completely unavailable. In this country abortion is often a moral question. What other healthcare question is made into a moral argument? In many parts of the world, unsafe abortion is a leading cause of maternal mortality. We are lucky that it is safe in this country.
    No method of birth control is 100% effective. Even if every woman were on a modern method of birth control there would still be millions of unplanned pregnancies each year.
    While I agree with you that everyone should be able to make this choice for themselves, I worry that you could take a larger view of it; both historically (when women died and were seriously injured in this country trying to end pregnancies) and geographically (where these issues are still very much a reality).

    Just my opinion.

    Sarah

    • Hi Sarah, thanks for reading and commenting. I’ll definitely check out the book when I get a chance. In regards to feticide, currently 35 states recognize the fetus as a homicide victim (legal abortion is excluded).

      Would you mind explaining what you mean by taking a larger view of abortion? I very much support safe and available abortion. If you’re suggesting that I could be more active in pushing our country to legalize abortion and keep it that way, I completely agree. In this post, however, I was addressing the extreme personal views of certain pro-choicers.

  3. We can not blame the religious for believing that abortion is a sin because life is sacred. That is their belief.

    What is difference of aborting a 1-8 mos fetus from a 0 month to 2yo baby? They both extremely dependent on you?

    Why can’t we also try to legalize killing a child probably 1 month old to 4 yo who is fully dependent on you on the ground of right to choose? The only difference is that a born child has already have a paper called “birth certificate”

    In the eyes of religious people “age” and “size” “dependencies” and “capabilities” do not matter.

    Let’s also include then mercy killing to those old folks that are fully dependent on us and can no longer contribute either to us or the country. People who makes us miserable. Anyway it is affecting “me” “you”

    • I am not necessarily “blaming” the religious for believing that abortion is a sin. However, it is unacceptable for them to judge others for having differing opinions and to force their own beliefs on others. As far as I know, pro-choicers do not protest outside hospitals, calling for mothers to abort their babies.

      You do make a good point about the difference between aborting a fetus and killing a child. As I wrote above, I’m not quite sure what the distinction is, and I would like to hear some pro-choice opinions on this.

      As for “mercy” killings, I do believe that sometimes it is more humane to let someone in severe pain die than to keep him/her alive for the benefit of his/her loved ones. Just as the spouse of a patient in a vegetative coma may decide whether or not to end his life, perhaps a mother of an unborn child has a similar authority to decide whether or not he should be born.

  4. And on the lighter side …

    Good to see your posts renxkyoto and sarah

    Theoretically both of your moms could have also availed abortion during conception for the sake of “personal freedom” and “convenience” but hey both of you are here 🙂

    See, difference of that embryo or fetus and the decisions of your moms are the NOW you, both of you.

    And both of you might missing this wonderful like on that single pill or medical procedure.

    • While your previous comment actually contained relevant and productive opinions, this one is completely unnecessary. You can’t go around telling everyone in the world they should be glad they’re alive and that their mother wasn’t on the pill and that she didn’t decide to have an abortion.

      That’s like saying that James Holmes’ mother should have used birth control and never have conceived him, or aborted him once she was pregnant. This argument is completely invalid and illogical and it’s statements like these that take away pro-lifers’ credibility.

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