Recently, I’ve had quite a few discussions with friends on the concept of love. Jean-Michel used a finance analogy to describe the most technically sound method of finding love, in which women are normally distributed and one always ends up settling for second-best. For Luc, the definition of love is a short-lived happenstance, because long-term bliss is unattainable once reality settles in. In the end, I have come up with my own analogy to describe the two types of love.
Picture two parallel lines, stretching to infinity merely inches apart but never quite touching. This is the first kind of love — the one that is almost good enough, but ultimately falls short of your expectations. It is stable and it is happy, but it is not a fairytale and at times you will lie beside your partner in bed and wonder if there is something better out there. Perhaps you are content with your close-enough lover, because at least you know you will never drift apart. Perhaps you are discontent, and you seek a torrid love affair to feel alive again.
This brings me to the second image: imagine two lines, intersecting at one point, but diverging increasingly with the passage of time and space. Such is the second category of love — the one that makes your dreams come true, but only ephemerally, and in the blink of an eye you are left wondering if it ever happened. It is dangerous, because once you taste its forbidden fruit, you will never be satisfied by the former type of love. You will pass on perfectly suitable parallel lines, refusing to settle for second-best. Finally, you will be disillusioned with love and you will begin to doubt its very existence.
The question remains: which is the true love? Perhaps it is the former, because it is based in reality. But then, who is to say that longevity has anything to do with reality? Who is to say that parallel love is more genuine than intersecting love?
What I want to know more than anything is if there is a third type of love, consisting not of lines but of two circles, overlapping to create a mutual ground of understanding yet maintaining their own identities. My problem with this figure, though, is that it is static. The circles don’t move, don’t shift, don’t transform. Reality, however, is constantly moving, shifting, transforming. Based on this logic, I must reject the existence of such a love.
In your past experiences (or current), which category have your relationships fallen into? Do you think that my descriptions are accurate or do you feel that there are more types of love I did not touch on?