First of all, I would like to apologize for my lengthy absence. My life has been hectic to say the least, and now with a few things settled down, I realized I should get back to writing. During this sabbatical of sorts, I managed to complete my first short story in well over a year. Writer’s insecurity, however, currently prevents me from making the necessary revisions to submit it to a contest. I’m thinking of entering the Writer’s Digest, but the deadline is coming up, so I’m not sure if I’ll make it. Any other suggestions?
Tonight, though, I wanted to pose a question that’s frequently popped up in my conversations with friends lately: is it racist to date a particular race exclusively? I remember having a long and heated debate with Phineas towards the beginning of our relationship because he mentioned that before meeting me, he only liked Korean girls. Appalled, I told him he was racist. In return, he pointed out that I was also racist because I generally refused to date Asians and Chinese men in particular.
This, I argued, did not make me racist. If I met a Chinese guy or an Asian dude who knocked my socks off, then I was perfectly willing to give it a go (clearly). I had, however, found that the characteristics I looked for in a significant other were not usually found in Asian men. Phineas then responded that the characteristics he looked for were usually present in Korean women. He preferred them simply because he could connect with them on a different level.
But what if a girl said that she only wanted to date someone who was wealthy because she had grown up wealthy? Wouldn’t we all find something wrong with that statement? On the flip side, what if a guy said that he would never date a rich person because he thought they were pretentious?
In the end, this is the question that remains: how important is it for our significant others to be like us? For me, I believe that there is something in our souls that runs deeper than appearance, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, etc. When two kindred spirits unite, there is a mutual understanding that can transcend all differences. Either you share that connection, or you don’t. If you do, then no number of dissimilarities can separate you. If you don’t, then no number of similarities can bridge the gap between you.
In any case, it’s never a good idea to rule out an entire ethnic group for either friendship nor relationship. Since it is quite impossible to have no preferences, the best anyone can do is to give everyone a chance.
Do you think it’s racist to have a hierarchy of preferred ethnicities? Are you an equal opportunity dater?
À la prochaine,